This is Where I Warn You About My Girly Vanities*

My hair is one of the things I’m extremely vain about. Because I grew up doing Karate, my hair was always in a pony tail. It was frustrating for me at that time because I really wanted to get it cut short like Rihanna but I couldn’t because I needed my hair to be long enough to be able to put in a ponytail for training. I didn’t have the guts then to chop it off like Emma Watson (actually, I still don’t) just so I can get them off my face when I trained.

I couldn’t get them colored either because my Sensei would just make snide remarks about how I look different and all that (he was really stuffy). Now that I am no longer training, I can do whatever the hell I want with my hair. As a result, I’ve spent most on my hair for the past three years or so.

*GPOY heavy

Getaways Turned Holidays

My Cardigan Weather Essentials! Rolled up long sleeves, my bear hat and S!

Because of the unpredictable Manila climate, it is difficult to dress appropriately for the weather. If in the morning it is gloomy and wet, it is still highly likely that the afternoon will be hot and humid. That’s Manila for you. But when I woke up this morning, I was sure that the “ber” months really is upon us. I could barely get up from bed (to study my cases!) since I felt so toasty under my blankets because it was cold and raining outside. It really is cardigan weather, hallelujah!

Hello to knits, hoodies and layering! Too bad my bear hat is not appropriate in Law school.:( Haha. I feel a Baguio holiday soon! Law school, be kind and grant me a warm, fuzzy and toasty vacay! (Emphasis supplied and directed at S!)

Wisdom from The Bachelorette

“It’s a great evolutionary step to get rid of the list.” –Ames, The Bachelorette 7

Of course, by that he means the list of traits you want your future significant other to have. I had one during my junior year in high school. My best friend and I put a list together. I can barely remember all the stuff that was in there but it had things like must not wear hair gel and other stuff like that.

When I was in college and I just had my heart broken by this boy, I put together another list in my mind (must be the eldest, must be either Gemini or a Libra, must have the same values as I have). But beyond that, I still had very particular standards at the back of my head which influenced me unconsciously.

Then there was this boy whom I have been friends with for a long time. When he said he liked me, I automatically checked off the first three things on my list (Eldest, check, Gemini, check, believes in public school education, check).  Somehow, I was still hesitant because we don’t have the same taste in music, he doesn’t write, etc. but I made a leap of faith and said to hell with those standards and went with it. And now I’m in my longest, most serious and fulfilling relationship with that person.

Does this mean I’m evolved now?

On another note, I dropped by the (aforementioned) boyfriend’s workplace for lunch and made all the other boys with girlfriends jealous. They all immediately texted their significant others expressing envy that S’ girlfriend came to visit him. I guess that’s 10,000 girlfriend points for me!

I guess I’m not so evolved since I’m keeping girlfriend points. LOL!

Dear 13-Year Old Self,

My 13-year old self with my best Karate girl friends in Australia! (L-R: Ate Lexie, Jerms, Muriel and Me!)

Like most 13 year olds, I was angsty, hormonal and incredibly spoiled. Ten years has passed and I’d like to think I’ve gained some right by virtue of experience and seniority to share some “wisdom” to my 13 year old self.

1. It’s okay to break up with him but do not act like a little sissy and stop talking to him altogether. You two can still be and will be better off as friends. Do not forget to steal some music from his computer.
2. Do not keep any more secret relationships because it will eventually get out anyway with more repercussions.
3. Do not blog about your Karate frustrations. It will kick you in the ass and may even factor in you getting bumped off the SEA Games team. But do not let Karate rivalry affect your friendships.
4. Spend more time with your high school friends and make sure not to miss any sleepovers for Karate. Do not miss your friend’s 18^th birthday for another boy’s prom.
5. Be more expressive with your feelings. Do not let a certain boy pass you by on account of the fact you can’t make up your mind.
6. Don’t miss soccer tryouts because of Karate. Do not miss a single day of your senior year for Karate. Value the person who’ll get your toga for you. He will eventually become the most important person in your life.
7. Study well. Do not take high school for granted. Make sure you have all your excuse slips for your international tournaments prepared beforehand.
8. After your Greece tourney, DO NOT LOSE YOUR PASSPORT.
9. Pursue writing in college. You are better suited for Creative Writing than Journalism, believe me. Take up Art Studies. You will meet the best people there.
10. Do not lend your books to your father. He will either lose them or give them to his grandchildren; either way you will never see them again.

(This post is inspired by the fact I rummaged through my defunct geocities blog site from 2002. Boy, was I er, such a kid back then!)

Love Is Not A Competition (But I’m Winning)

The trick is getting you to think that all this was your idea.

I may have given you the wrong impression when I laughed when you said your friend proposed to his girlfriend of three years (we’ve been together for four; love is not a competition but if it was we are winning) only to be engaged for five years more so he can pay for the wedding. I may have lied when I said an engagement should last for only two years, max, and only so you can reserve the venue that you want for the wedding.

The truth is I don’t care how long an engagement is for. As long as it’s an engagement to be married to you.

Damn you Law School for being an impediment to my ability to marry!

Oh, apparently there’s a Paramore version of this song. I haven’t heard it yet but I love love this original.:)

The Rise of The GCϟDC*

GC (Grade Conscious)
adjective, noun
: derogatory term for someone who studies a lot and cares about his/her grades too much

During the years of my primary and secondary education as well as my undergrad years in UP, I was never academically inclined. I was an underachiever and I was fine with that. I was perfectly satisfied charming my way through school with my adequate wisdom and overinflated eloquence. Everyone knew I was good, albeit that was never really evident in my grades. Nevertheless, that never stopped me from occasionally being in the honor roll, being chosen to be student-teacher, and being elected into all sorts of academic roles.

I’ve been in San Beda Law School for three months now and I can absolutely say that I’ve never studied so much in my life. The fifteen or so years I’ve spent “studying in school” prior to this will probably amount to just the same for the three months I’ve been here. Thus being so, I don’t have any study habits and it is beyond me how I’ve survived thus far.

I am not complaining. I love the pressure. However, because of the very strict retention system of San Beda Law, I often find myself computing my grades and speculating if I will make it. I wouldn’t have this problem if I went to UP Law of course because they have a different retention policy. But then I’d have to deal with a different kind of pressure as my father used to teach there and is still very active with academic affairs. My father would probably hear about my bad recitation even before I arrive home.

A GCϟDC* is so unlike me. Gone are the days when I laugh at every bad exam grade and just shrug it off because I know I’m smart regardless of what would show up in my report card. I used to rely too much on my very superior IQ (128, bitches. Please mind the “very” because it is relevant. haha). Although I’ve never actually cried because I’ve done poorly, I now know how it feels to be desperate even envious of a better grade. I’ve adjusted to the studying part, hopefully I can soon adjust to the sporadic feelings of intellectual inadequacy as well.

 

*See what I did there?:)) Kudos if you get the subtle musical reference 😉

On Being the Other Woman and Other Rules on Dating

I hate the song Lips of an Angel by Hinder. Aside from its really cheesy title, I hate it because it romanticizes improper behavior like cheating. It irks me even more to think that it’s the theme song of every indecent affair going on in the world. Puh-lease.

However, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been there. I didn’t mean to because I was actually the first but she came and ruined everything. I will not go into the details of that failed almost relationship and skip to the part where the boy used to call me in the middle of the night to talk about his mom and his problems with the girl. We spent Christmases and New Years talking to each other on the phone and contemplating how we’ll never have holidays like normal people with normal families do. We spent mornings before school together and walked together to class.

Boy, she must have really hated me. But I never intended things to be that way. I didn’t want to steal him away from her. I always knew that he was hers and I respected that even if it hurt me. On prom night and she was with him, all I gave him was a curt nod when he passed and we ignored each other for the rest of the night. I wasn’t aware of it then but I was the other woman.

In retrospect, even if I was technically the other woman, I never behaved in a way I shouldn’t have. I never tried to sabotage their relationship; in fact, I always tried to put things in perspective for him. I always upheld the boundaries of our relationship. Had I been more assertive, I would have gotten him for sure. But I didn’t because that wasn’t in my nature. There are, however, some people who would be downright crass to resort to boyfriend-stealing. Thank goodness I wasn’t brought-up that way. A word for the wise, don’t be the other woman. That’s bad karma on your ass.

Anyway, he did eventually say he wanted to be with me but the timing wasn’t right because I was involved with someone who happened to be his friend. We never got together but somehow we knew we loved each other. Our refusal to break our respective girl/bro codes (thou shall not steal someone else’s boyfriend/thou shall not steal friend’s thunder) did not get our relationship anywhere. This can be attributed to our background of having broken families. In this sense, I guess we just value the sanctity of relationships better. Now, aside from the what ifs, I can only hope this earned us good karma under our belts.

I think about him sometimes but only on a platonic and nostalgic sense. He’s not with the girl anymore but I hope that he’s happy wherever he is.:)